11 Days Before Christmas

11 Days Before Christmas

5 ways to get more hits on your page

So you made a beautiful site and you want the world to enjoy it, but after six months its only had 4 hits. What the--!!!

Relax, its not that you are not interesting. You are invisible. Thats right, my friend. You are in stealth mode. So what do you do to be seen?

1. Keywords. When people use search engines, like Google, for example. They type in keywords to search by. The more of their keywords that match yours the better.

2. Webring. Webring.com will bring lots of viewers to your site, if you install their code on your site. The first site is free too.

3. Images. Pictures of hot celebrities will draw fans from all over the world. Say you love Pam Anderson. Who doesn't? If you make a page about her and review her work and include pics of her, the dam will bust and the hits will flood your site. If you build it they will come.

4. Videos. People don't like to read a lot, but they love to watch interesting videos. A few good videos on your site can work wonders. You can install YouTube videos in seconds. The success of any business or website depends on repeat business. Keep them coming back for more and the counter will keep growing.

5. Hot Links. Link all the best sites to yours and people will love to visit you again and again.
A fun site will get hit again and again and again. Make yours the one no one can forget, and stand back. Also, keep lots of space for the visitor counter. And dont forget the guestbook. Feedback is everything.

HOW TO WRITE A STORY

How to write a story or just fill space and make it look like an article.

I waited anxiously for the word processor to start. Why are computers still so damn slow, I thought. It was the thirteenth year of the 21^st,... scratch that, twenty first century and I was determined to finally get that damn novel wrote that I had been planning and avoiding writing for years. Life gets in the way of art sometimes.

Now the book was finally starting so time to establish some ground rules right?

Rule one. No abbreviating. Mostly because I need to get at least 40,... er, I mean forty pages out of this first draft. Oh and that includes numbers too. The long version takes up more space than the short one, and publishers like lengthy books so... yeah.

The next rule of course is to use paragraphs, as it makes the book easier to read and also takes up more space. And there is that length issue again.

As a male it seems like the length issue follows you every where you go. You know what they say, big feet, big shoes.

Where was I? Oh yes, rule number D. type in a somewhat larger font as it is easier for me to read, and also there is the length thing again.

Next, a novel needs a topic so that it does not just wander all over the place and get lost in limbo at the end. For example, the topic of this piece appears to be, how to write a story, or just typing random crap, or filling space until the needed number of pages is met.

Tally? That is about three pages now and three or four rules and I still have not gotten to the damn point. Notice how I wrote that is instead of that's? You gotta pay attention guys there may be a quiz.

Rule five, of course, is spelling and grammar, which is taken care of by the word processor because I am pressed for time and a bit lazy. Also, the commas and quotation marks and stuff like that take up more room and help me to reach my goal faster. Length is everything in novels.

The next point to make here is pictures and illustrations. They fill more space and make the book more interesting.

Like this photo I took of a butterfly in my yard one day. It is pleasing to the eye and so makes the book more appealing to the reader.

The picture is nice and colorful and takes up a whole paragraph by itself. So, pictures good.

The most important thing about a novel is plot. Man v man. Man v nature. Man v wife in divorce court. You get the point. Without a plot, the reader would just get bored and throw away the piece. Plots make or break a book. Unlike movies, plots are a definite must in books. I remember watching a certain para annoying non activity movie and wondering if anything was ever going to happen. It didn't.

Finally, you need characters in a story, whether it is a jolly green giant or wicked witch who melts in the shower or a wicked queen who looks like a playing card and orders peoples heads cut off and yet never gets stomped for some reason. Characters make a story interesting as long as they are not all the same. Variety is the key to a good story.

Now I totally lost count of my rules here, and yes I left out the C on purpose, just for fun. Told you there was a quiz.

Use pics and links to build your site or blog

Make your site more interesting and people will come back. Add photos to your layout and/or posts and people will be more likely to read them. Also works with illustrations.

Also, you can add links to other related sites so that your readers will see you as a resource and keep coming back again and again.

SOCIAL NETWORK ADVERTISING VIA TWITTER

HOOK YOUR BLOG, YOUTUBE CHANNEL, TUMBLR, PHEED, AND FACEBOOK PAGE UP TO TWITTER AND TWITTER UP TO YOUR PERSONAL FB PROFILE.

THEN EVERY TIME YOU PUBLISH YOU CAN TWEET TO YOUR FAN BASE WITH A SINGLE CLICK. YOUR TWITTER PAGE BECOMES YOUR NEWSLETTER AND YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO TWEET ON IT.

DO NOT FORGET TO HOOK UP TO GOOGLE PLUS TOO. THE MORE READERS YOU REACH THE MORE FANS YOU GET.

FREE goodies for your website!

You built a web page but now you need some traffic. a press release or a widget or something to advertise. and also you need to advertise your site as well. Well, those brave braves at Bravenet have got something to help you out. You can add a free service for readers. what service? FREE CLASSIFIEDS! or you can just advertise mine as if it were yours.  Really, be my guest.

FREE CLASSIFIEDS AT ALL.AT/ADS!   

Want to give your viewers the latest news headlines. Send them to my news mag here.

I also have an arcade you can share with your readers at www.jump.to/games

There are lots of other goodies on the web that can make your site or blog just addictive, so add them too.
the more traffic you generate the higher your site will rate.

SIMS 3 in review

The new PC game Sims 3 is soooo much fun. None of that annoying crap like having to send them to the bathroom in this one. If you let them think for themselves they fix their own problems most of the time. You do however have to watch what they eat. They don't seem to be able to tell when the food has crossed over to the other side. Big improvement on previous versions though. Check it out.... :)

VAMPIRES SUCK: the review

Recently watched the DVD of Vampires Suck, and nearly laughed my fangs off. Funny stuff man. Loved it. Watch it, buy it, give it  to me for Christmas!

POSSESSION

Would you lie to Sarah Michelle Gellar to get her in your bed? Who wouldn’t?

Sarah plays the gorgeous wife of a guy who ends up in a coma next to his brother when they hit each other head on in the fog.

Now the brother wants to be someone else because he is tired of being an ex-con, and he envies his brother who hooked up with his parole officer. Then after the accident they switch bodies, and Sarah’s hubby comes back from his coma in his brother’s body.

A science fiction thrill ride that will keep you spellbound.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

Robert Downey Jr. is a tough and intelligent and somewhat slovenly Sherlock Holmes who performs experiments in his spare time and boxes.

Based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s books, Sherlock Holmes is an entertaining and exciting thrill ride that you will have to watch over and over.

Jude Law plays his sidekick Watson, a military vet and doctor who seems to be the only thing keeping Holmes from exploding.

Together the two are quite a team. Must see movie.

Zombieland

WELCOME TO ZOMBIELAND

Once again, Woody Harrelson has made a great movie with Bill Murray.

Zombieland is a fun and funny as hell science fiction comedy about a world of zombies, looking for their next meal. And a survival guide for those who wish to not get eaten. Watch it or hot chicks will show up in your living room foaming at the mouth, and do not forget to do your cardio. 

Somebody get me a dam Twinkie!

G I JOE: RISE OF COBRA

Not really a fan of the G I Joe cartoons, but the movie was fun and entertaining. And the chicks were hot.

"We have never faced a threat like this. A team is being assembled. They are the best operatives in the world. When all else fails, we don't."

When Cobra threatens the world, there is only one team that can stop them. You know, because all the other teams are busy or something.

 

Amityville Horror’s sexy babysitter Rachel Nichols stars, and looks really good in that cat suit.

Need something fun to watch tonight? Yo Joe!

2012: the review

Woody Harrelson plays a crazed radio star who knows everything that is going to happen, but no one believes him.

2012 is an edge of your seat thriller about the coming apocalypse predicted by the Mayans long ago.
What if the sun heated the earth’s core causing all the world’s volcanoes to erupt except the one in DC? Where would we run? Where would we hide? Why didn’t the government know about this? Or did they?
This one is a keeper guys. Snatch it up.